You get good at loving yourself, and suddenly you’re able to love others, to give to others, and do for others by giving and doing for yourself first.
Dr. Wayne Dyer
Some parents believe that putting their children first is the key to successfully raising them…
…& that their decisions in putting their own needs second is a sacrifice that they do for their children…which in turn makes them good parents.
When in fact, is the opposite…
The importance of putting yourself first is the foundational pillar of good parenting and providing love to your children.
Love and taking care of yourself is the key to successfully loving and taking care of your family.
You get to see the value of putting yourself first and how it effects the rest of your life.
When you feel crappy, things don’t line up, we tend to take things wrong, get easily butt hurt and don’t problem solve well, or worst, none at all.
When you don’t take action with changing our minds, hearts and physical environment to ensure we are operating at the best of our abilities, than our children and our partners along with the rest of the people closest to us, will suffer from our dentrimental outlook, feeling and how we handle stressful situations.
I am speaking in a more extreme sense, because these effects don’t show up in a day, or a month… it’s compounded over time and to make it land for you, the extreme sense hopefully encourages you to be open to these words and insight.
Have you ever been apart of an emotionally draining, or emotionally abusive relationship?
Whether it be a significant other, or a sibling or parents?
Well that suffering that you’ve endured, comes from them not giving themselves self care, not allowing themselves time to grow, heal and love themselves.
Resulting in unhealthy relationships around them.
Let’s change this generational pattern by loving ourselves.
Self care is as important as taking medication for an extreme illness. If we want to break the generational patterns of hurt, pain and emotional abuse, self care and healing is the best approach and is achieved by loving yourself.
There are many ways to approach self care, not just one way will make you better, not just one day of self care will improve your relationships with yourself and with others, but its the continuous efforts of growth, insight, self awareness and maturity that will change the rest of your life along with your children’s lives.
Your Self Worth
What is self worth?
The official definition is: Ones own value, or worth as a person.
If you were to grade what your self worth was from 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, where does your self worth lie?
The only person that can determine your self worth is, you!
Figuring out where your self worth is a determining factor as to how much love you are willing to giving to yourself.
Putting yourself first means nurturing yourself, loving yourself, giving time to yourself when you need it. Understanding your emotional baggage and how to heal.
How important you value putting your first is in direct correlation to the level of your self worth.
How to determine your self worth:
On a peice of paper, answer the following questions:
Do you love who you are?
Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
Do you see yourself worthy of love, wealth and happiness?
Are you kind to yourself?
The answers that you provide determines the level of self worth you posses. If all answers are positive and kind, yes you love yourself, yes you are happy with yourself, yes you do see yourself as worthy of love and happiness and yes you are kind to yourself.
Than your self worth is up there, you have no self worthiness issues that need to be addressed here, but unfortunately… a lot of people come with emotional baggage and issues of self worthiness and not being enough.
Putting yourself first, means you get to love yourself, accept that there are some personal issues with all of us and that’s ok.
Bridging the gap of your self worthiness takes loving yourself, self healing, increasing your self awareness and forgiveness to others and yourself.
This is the route of undoing the past, becoming emotionally well balanced parents and relinquishing generational pains and patterns.
The entire business of being in love, giving and receiving, starts with a self that is totally loved.Dr. Wayne Dyer
If your goal is to raise emotionally healthy children, then we get to be emotionally healthy ourselves, which means, from time to time they we put ourselves first.
As parents, the responsible thing to do is taking progressive action towards a solution, to becoming whole and getting closer to self healing.
Putting yourself first, doesn’t mean you get to be selfish. Instead, putting yourself first is about understanding your soul’s need for healing and forgiveness, otherwise your emotional triggers and unhealed wounds become the beacon and foundation of your parenting.
Putting yourself first, in the sense of becoming whole and promoting healing takes consistent effort, being aware of our emotional baggage and following your plan for healing.
Motivation is everything and I hope you are as equally motivated to change your behavioral patterns for your family.
I hope this was helpful in understanding who you are, what you need to do to become healthy and happy parents.
Sending you love, motivation and all green lights.
Your mommy blogger,