I’ve notice that I have started an extremely bad habit of being busy while watching my toddlers.
Do you find yourself multitasking while watching your kids, either you’re on the phone, doing chores or watching TV? Me too!
I’m either washing dishes, cooking, cleaning or on a phone/laptop while am watching them.
I will say that I am doing one of those things 60-70% of the time while I’m with them. This is an extremely high and terrible habit that I’ve started and the biggest problem is that I’m guilty of it more than 50% of the time (UGH!!!).
According to Dr. Tsabli, in her book Conscious Parent, she goes over that by being present allows us to proactively parent, utilizing each moment as true teaching lessons and having compassion for our children while still teaching tough lessons.
Otherwise, the opposite of that, a parent that is not present (me UGH!!), are responding to our toddler’s misbehavior or cry out for attention, reacting from a place of our own personal anxieties or historical baggage.
This can be a huge detriment to your toddlers self identity, self worth because their teachings are flawed, masked by discipline but what is spewing out is the toddlers parent’s unresolved issues from childhood through lack of intimacy and attention towards their child.
Our children are highly sensitive to our ways and will mirror this insecurity within themselves.
Do you see the problem? Below is a solution!
Ways to Be Present with your Child
1| Put away devices
This is hard concept, right? I felt so at first!!
Dang.. I want to know what’s up with my instagram, Facebook, emails and Pinterest, as often as I can remember to check!
That’s the problem though, with such easy access to these sites, we are unable to limit ourselves from them.
Self control is one of the key points here, for you to be present with your child, you will need to see the value in doing so and develop some self control to put your devices away.
2| Carve out time for you
Have it charging for the next hour or so, tell yourself it needs some juice!
Time for yourself is what will allow you to be fully “being present”.
For me, waking up a couple of hours before my toddlers wake up is key.
It allows me to get my self ready, get my coffee, do some writing, get my posts ready, do some before cleaning and allows me to get into the third section.
3| Plan out the day
Mentally prepare yourself and start off your morning with some “you time”.
Plan out your toddlers morning, than commit to being fully present during breakfast.
Plan a portion of your time to clean, let your toddlers know exactly what they should be expecting, “Mommy is going to clean the kitchen, for now you can watch Mickey Mouse”.
That way, your toddler is clear that Mommy is doing something right now, it doesn’t blur the lines of Mommy and Me time.
When your done, commit to being fully present with your child, give yourself a reasonable timeframe, whatever it is, play, focus and connect with your child.
Plan some afternoon activities, like gardening with Mommy, do some fun arts and crafts at the dining table, play some card games, do letters and numbers.
I hope this helps with understanding the importance of being present. I am going to do a test run on these concerts this week to see the results I get, how they respond to my being present and take notice the shift in our energy throughout the day.
My goal is to bridge the gap from 60-70% to more like 10-20%.
It’s unrealistic to completely be 100% present, 100% of the time… but it’s worth bridging the gap closer so that we can start giving the attention and affection to the ones we love the most, our little ones.
Where do you lie on the scale of being present?