I was not mentally, physically or emotionally ready to embark on the chapter of motherhood.
I was a young 28-year-old, immature, mentally undeveloped girl, who had yet become a woman and working in contracts for a great Real Estate education firm and loved it.
Nonetheless, I was unready and didn’t know much of what to expect besides the given:
we were having a baby and my life was going to drastically change.
My first year with my little one consisted of everything under the sun, it was hard, fun, lonely, filled with laughter, tears and endless cuddles.
My partner traveled 75% of the time so that was tough, my extended family played their typical mind games that seemed more obvious this time around, causing a rift, visits became far and few between & eventually stopped all together.
Friends fell off, as we all were going through different shifts and entering into different chapters in our lives.
Nonetheless, I was very lonely and I didn’t know how to deal with these different feelings.
I had bouts of emotional ups and downs, a mild level of post-partum depression.
Throughout the course of my journey, I have had my share of lessons learned that helped me get through the tough times and make things easier for me and I hope it will for any of you whom are embarking on this amazing journey of motherhood!
Valuable Lessons for New Moms!
Seek help.
Even when you feel like you are fine, seek help.
During the midst of being the main care taker of my new born, the thoughts of me even suffering of Post-partum Depression seemed impossible, because I felt it only counted for the extreme cases like wanting to kill myself or my baby… that was not the case in my situation.
I loved my daughter and enjoyed all of our amazing moments together…but I still felt bouts of unhappiness, loneliness, questioning my relationships around me, sadness and mild depression.
Just because it wasn’t these intense feelings of suicide doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek professional help.
You should talk to someone if you are feeling levels of emotional instability.
This allows you to work through your emotions, talk to someone that knows this is temporary feelings and that can walk you through a more rational point of view.
A big mistake was also relying on my partner to walk me through my feelings of all of these changes and expected him to give me sound advice or uplift me.
This is an unfair expectation to put your partner as they themselves are dealing with whatever is going on in their minds.
Don’t be afraid to explore.
Explore the world with your little one, go grocery shopping, visit friends and family, go to the park, take walks, get some sunshine, get out of the house! I didn’t do much of this my first year, I was in such a terrible mindset that even getting out of the house was a stressful experience.
I feared the unknown, what happens if she shit on herself in the car and we are on the highway, what if I get a flat tire and we in the middle of the road and I have no one to help me, I was a mess.. thinking the worst which ended up paralyzing me.
The lesson here is to explore, get use to being out with your little one, practice getting in and out of the car seat, multitasking and developing self confidence of being a mom.
Don’t worry.
Again, my biggest thing was my mindset, along with that I was guilty of worrying. Worrying of what others thought of me as a mom.
That having company over was too much to deal with because the house wasn’t clean and organized, I wasn’t presentable, I couldn’t really connect with people because I was too busy taking care of my little one.
My mindset of trying to be “this perfect mom” didn’t allow me to truly connect with others.
This took away from an avenue of having some mental decompression with others, instead I stewed in my negative emotions.
Make mom friends.
This is huge, having friends going through the same things as you creates more of a comfort-ability and openness about what you are going through.
Making mom friends is a great resource to allow some wooosah moments, share some laughter’s and allows your baby to interact with other babies.
I suggest googling Mom Groups within your community, Mom Runs or Mom Walks, or Toddler Reads at a local Library.
Enjoy every moment.
If you are a mom, you know well enough that the days, weeks and months will always be different as our little ones don’t stay the same age.
One week we are dealing with sleep regression, the next we are dealing with a tooth coming in, the next they are crawling, then walking.
Embracing every moment not only allows you to be in the moment, but also allows you to remember and cherish all these moments.
Conclusion
The biggest thing for me was my mindset. I was inclined to expect my partner to provide me with mental and emotional support.
I worried too much, I was going through bouts of all these feelings I didn’t know how to deal with. The biggest take a way I hope you new moms get from this is to seek help even when you don’t think you need it.
Talking to a professional will allow you to understand that the feelings you have are normal and will subside.
Stay positive and talk to people, get yourself out of the house, be interactive and explore.
The good news is that all of these negative feelings have subsided for me and eventually will for you.
Congrats on becoming a Mother and the start of your journey, share with me your insight on being a new mom!
Sending you love and all green lights!
Your Mommy Blogger,
Maria
